Books | Magdeline Huang

A practical guide to interpersonal relationships based on Adlerian psychology principles, covering motivation, communication, and handling mistakes constructively.

–

Discovered this on the shelves in Seoul Book Repository. Bought for 5000 KRW. Really a gem of a discovery.

I love how simple and timeless the advice is.

Favourite quotes:

“Everyone thinks of changing humanity, and no one ever thinks of changing himself.” - Leo Tolstoy
No one in the world can make me angry, because my anger is my anger and nobody else’s. Only I can invoke my anger, and I can choose whether or not to express it… Each thought, each feeling, each desire, each expectation, and each expression is the result of a decision, for the most part made subconsciously.
God give me the courage to change what I can change, the patience to bear what I cannot change, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
When we learn to react less andd act more, we also become less impulsive and stop letting ourselves be carried away by thoughtless emotional behaviour that can only be destructive.
Not to let yourself be too strongly influenced by the past, to do your best in the present, and to recognize your goals for the future, changing things for the better all the time.
The older you are, the more you realise that it is better to give than to receive.
Giving in, however, is just as bad as quarrelling. In quarrelling I insult the worth of the other person; in giving in I insult my own worth.
Difference is the essence of humanity. The answer to difference is to respect it.
Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.
There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
Only with a positive outlook can we conquer the colossal failure mentality of our civilisation, its pessimism, its negativity.
“When you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.” - Leo Tolstoy

Murakami reflects on the relationship between running marathons and his life as a novelist, blending personal history with meditations on discipline and creativity.

–

I really enjoyed reading this book. It had a lot of great gems and life lessons. For the most part, I really liked Murakami’s mindset. It’s a positive growth mindset. I really related to lots of his thoughts and perspectives.

Favourite quotes:

For some reason I never cared all that much whether I beat others or lost to them… I’m much more interested in whether I reach the goals that I set for myself, so in this sense long-distance running is the perfect fit for a mindset like mine.
Basically a writer has a quiet, inner motivation, and doesn’t seek validation in the outwardly visible.
I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone.
Even if my time in races doesn’t improve, there’s not much I can do about it. I’ve gotten older, and time has taken its toll. It’s nobody’s fault.
… without really knowing what was going on I suddenly found myself labeled a new, up-and-coming writer
This can’t be good for me, I decided
Looking back now, I think the most fortunate thing is that I was born with a strong, healthy body.
Life is basically unfair. But even in a situation that’s unfair, I think it’s possible to seek out a kind of fairness. Of course, that might take time and effort. And maybe it won’t seem to be worth all that. It’s up to each individual to decide whether or not it is.
Whenever I feel like I don’t want to run, I always ask myself the same thing: You’re able to make a living as a novelist, working at home, setting your own hours, so you don’t have to commute on a packed train or sit through boring meetings. Don’t you realise how fortunate you are? (Believe me, I do.) Compared to that, running an hour around the neighbourhood is nothing, right?
Without [focus] you can’t accomplish anything of value, while, if you can focus effectively, you’ll be able to compensate for an erratic talent or even a shortage of it.
As you age you learn even to be happy with what you have. That’s one of the few good points of growing older.
To deal with something unhealthy, a person needs to be as healthy as possible. That’s my motto. In other words, an unhealthy soul requires a healthy body.
The honour of physical decline is waiting, and you have to get used to that reality.

A foundational self-help text outlining seven principles — from proactivity to “sharpening the saw” — for personal and interpersonal effectiveness.

–

“Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world not as it is, but as we we are.” - Stephen R. Covey

Choice - Be proactive

Pause and respond. You have the power to choose your response. We can choose a more proactive response.

Focus on your Circle of Influence. Circle of Concern represents everything we worry, think, or talk about. Circle of Influence includes things within our circle of concern that we have the power to change.
Purpose - Begin with the end in mind

Practise backcasting ie talk or think about something you are working towards, as if you already achieved it.

What we choose to do today determines where we find ourselves tomorrow.

Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Focus - Put first things first

Spend our time in a way that aligns with our values and reflects our vision for our lives. To achieve the future we want, we need to protect time for pursuing it.

Use the Eisenhower matrix when prioritising tasks.

Plan every day and week.
Abundance - Think win-win

Approach each situation looking for ways that everyone can win.

Balance courage and consideration.

Consider other people’s wins as well as your own.
Respect - Seek first to understand, then to be understood

“When we really, deeply understand each other, we open the door to create solutions… Our differences are no longer stumbling blocks to communication and progress. Instead they become the stepping stones to synergy.”

Listen empathically.
Creative Collaboration - Synergize

Seek perspectives that are different from ours - that challenge us and help us better solve problems, navigate conflicts, or develop something new.

A third alternative isn’t just “my way” or “your way”—it’s “our way”, a higher, better way. We get to these ideas by valuing differences.
Renewal - Sharpen the saw

Invest in the whole person - body (physical), mind (mental and emotional), spirit, heart (social).

“This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life—investment in ourselves, the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute. We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time to regularly sharpen the saw.”

A follow-up to Steal Like an Artist, offering practical advice on building an audience and career by sharing creative process openly.

–

A cult classic. Must read for creatives.

When you show your work, you invite other like-minded people to find you
Learn in public
Read obituaries. They make you realise the frailty of life.
Take people BTS. They want to see your process.
Become a documentarian of what you do.
Share about what you like, the people you follow etc. “Your influences are all worth sharing because they clue people in to who you are and what you do — sometimes even more than your own work.”
Always give credit where credit is due. Share the original artist. Share the link.
Basic plot of all stories - “A character wants something, goes after it despite opposition, and so arrives at a win, lose, or draw.” But when you are living the story, as in life, you don’t know which part you are in.
“Teaching people doesn’t subtract value from what you do, it actually adds to it. When you teach someone how to do your work, you are, in effect, generating more interest in your work. People feel closer to your work because you’re letting them in on what you know.”
Know that once your work reaches a certain point, it might receive backlash. Be strong and make yourself immune to that.
“Don’t be afraid to charge for your work, but put a price on it that you think is fair.”
Keep a mailing list. Everyone has an email address. It’s the oldest piece of tech that everyone still has.
Chain-smoking - Use your previous project to fuel your next. “Instead of taking a break in between projects, waiting for feedback, and worrying about what’s next, use the end of one project to light up the next one. Just do the work that’s in front of you, and when it’s finished, ask yourself what you missed, what you could’ve done better, or what you couldn’t get to, and jump right into the next project.”
Chain-smoking can be tiring though so combat it by taking sabbaticals - 1-year sabbaticals every 7 years
“When you feel like you’ve learned whatever there is to learn from what you’re doing, it’s time to change course and find something new to learn so that you can move forward.”

A guide for software engineers on navigating career growth, from landing a first job to negotiating promotions and building a public technical reputation.

–

“The code will always be the easiest part of a coding career.”
How do you progress your learning after your formal education stops? Swyx suggests to gamify your learning which is essentially building projects. For example after learning JavaScript, try to build a clone of jQuery. I agree, and I think building projects is the best way to consolidate your skills plus learn new ones. I’d also like to add on that you should follow your interests. Eg if you’re interested in cloud, go look into that. If you’re interested in 3D, go look into that. It doesn’t matter if it’s not exactly related to your main job.
“When one teaches, two learn.” - Robert Heinlein
“The most valuable engineers are the ones who habitually view their work through the lens of what the business needs to succeed. Which is a skill you have to practice and foster and cultivate, just like any other.“ - Charity Majors
5 pathways after coding
- Engineering Management
- Product Management
- Developer Relations
- Developer Education
- Entrepreneurship
Your professional relationships will outlast your current employment. Your loyalty to great people you find on your way will pay off far more than your loyalty to your current company.
“If you’re not writing stuff on the Web, then when people search for you they’re going to find stuff that you don’t control.” - Joel Spolsky
“Write down what’s obvious to you. Derek Sivers is fond of saying that What’s Obvious to you is Amazing to Others.
Someone who looks like a generalist in certain circles, looks like a specialist to everyone else standing outside that circle. Specialization is in the eye of the beholder.
“The cynical dev thinks technology never changes. The optimistic dev persists in trying to change technology. Therefore all progress depends on the optimistic dev.” - George Bernard Shaw
“The best way to predict the future is to to create it.” - Dennis Gabor
The first thing to realize is that the tech “everybody” uses isn’t that old. The first web site was published in 1990. Git was released in 2005. Both iPhone and Android were launched in 2007. Both the modern serverless and container paradigms began in 2014. It is highly likely that someone is working on something right now, that will change the world not just in your lifetime, but in less than a decade from today.
Repo of cool things that spark joy https://github.com/swyxio/spark-joy
Cool people:
- One drawing a day https://www.katebingamanburt.com/daily-purchase-drawings
- 180 sites in 180 days to learn how to code https://jenniferdewalt.com/index.html
- Shirley Wu https://www.shirleywu.studio/
- Nadieh Bremer https://www.visualcinnamon.com/

Drawing on research into the world’s longest-living populations (“Blue Zones”), the book distills their dietary and lifestyle habits into an actionable framework for longevity.

–

Power Nine

Move naturally - Live in environments that constantly promote movement eg use mechanical garden tools, walk instead of drive etc.
Purpose - Know why you wake up in the morning. What’s your purpose in life?
Downshift - Have a routine to relieve stress. Okinawans take a few moment each day to remember their ancestors, Adventists pray, Ikarians take a nap, and Sardinians do happy hour.
80% rule - Hara hachi bu means to stop eating when your stomach is 80% full. Eat your smallest meal in the late afternoon or early evening and then don’t eat any more after that.
Plant slant - Beans, including fava, black, soy, and lentil are key to a healthy diet
Wine @ 5 - It’s quite beneficial to drink one or two glasses a day with food. If you are a non-drinker, this does not mean you should start drinking.
Right tribe - Have healthy support circles with friends that have healthy behaviours
Community - Belong to a community eg purpose-led, faith-based community.
Loved ones first - Have multiple generations living together. Commit to a life partner. Invest in your children with time and love.

Eating Habits

Eat breakfast like a king; lunch like a prince; and dinner like a pauper. Breakfast should include protein, complex carbs, and plant-based fats
Hara hachi bu - Stop eating when you’re 80% full
Occasional fasts are beneficial - Try eating only two meals a day: a big late-morning brunch and a second meal at around 5 pm
Never eat standing up

Food Guidelines

Plant slant - See that 95% of your food comes from a plant or a plant product
Retreat from meat - Consume meat no more than twice a week
Fish is fine - Eat up to three ounces of fish daily
Diminish dairy - Minimise your consumption of cow’s milk and dairy products such as cheese, cream, and butter
Occasional egg - Eat no more than three eggs per week
Daily dose of beans - Eat at least a half cup of cooked beans daily
Slash sugar - Consume no more than seven added teaspoons a day
Snack on nuts - Eat two handfuls of nuts per day
Sour on bread - Replace common bread with sourdough or 100% whole wheat bread
Go wholly whole - Eat foods that are recognisable for what they are
Blue zones beverages
- Water - Being amply hydrated facilitates blood flow and lessens chance of a blood clot
- Tea - Green tea is especially good as it lowers the risk of heart disease and several cancers
- Red wine - People who drink - in moderation - tend to outlive those who don’t (this doesn’t mean you should start drinking if you don’t drink now). Wine has been found to help the system absorb plant-based antioxidants, so it especially complements a Blue Zones diet. However more than two or three glasses a day for women and men respectively show adverse health effects. For women, there is also an increase in the risk of breast cancer with less than one drink per day.

To Understand and Be Understood

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

The Defining Decade

Digital Minimalism

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

下班后开始新的一天 After Work, a New Day Begins

Show Your Work!

The Coding Career Handbook

The Blue Zones Solution

Power Nine

Eating Habits

Food Guidelines

Lonely Castle in the Mirror (かがみの孤城)

Pachinko

Blue Sky Mansion